Summer Fun!

I found this list online, chock-full of things awesome. I've decided I ought to incorporate as many as possible into my summer experience, before I get to the MTC (and my life becomes much more focused.) My dear friend Ben has pledged his support in this endeavor, and I think the list should be pretty much neutralized by the end of the summer. Although I'll have to find something to replace such things as wine and coffee. Also, I'll have to find me some childrens. That could be interesting. Maybe Wal-Mart has them.

coloring (yes, grown-ups can do it, too)
crisp cotton sheets
soft skin
old family recipes
the first daffodils of spring

sleeping in
an exercise endorphin high
window boxes
a perfect cup of coffee
a genuine compliment (giving or receiving)
the way babies smell
a handwritten letter
waking up in a good mood...for no real reason
singing in the shower
finding a couple forgotten dollars in your pocket
doing something nice for your neighbor
a home-cooked meal
laughing
movie theater popcorn
playing hookey
a bubble bath
swimming
an afternoon nap
street musicians
your favorite song
saying thank you
helping someone in need
old fashioned photo booths
fresh whipped cream
inspiring blogs
a glass of wine
rainy afternoons
the funny things kids say
a novel you can get lost in
finding the perfect piece of clothing...on sale
clean laundry
the wind in your hair
treating the person behind you at the drive-thru
sharing an umbrella
the smell of lavender
a long walk that clears your head
a bear hug
The Beatles
smiling at a stranger
eating with chopsticks (Chinese food optional)
butterflies
staying in your pj's all day
singing along to the radio and knowing all the words
fresh herbs
ordering in pizza
happy endings...even if they're fictional
flying a kite
puppies
root beer floats
holding open the door...
...or having someone hold the door for you
fountain soda
white, fluffy towels
sunshine
spending an afternoon at a museum
really great advice
green lights all the way home
the sound of rain hitting the windows
sitting in a booth
holding hands
a great hair day with no effort
building a fort with your kids
when someone falls asleep with their head on your shoulder
fireflies
the perfect taco
geraniums on a windowsill
slow dancing
the smell of fresh-baked bread
cheesy, uplifting musicals

great stories
the smell of gasoline
the cold side of the pillow
love letters
old friends...
...new friends
a pull-through parking space
a baguette -- crisp on the outside, airy on the inside
when a dog licks your hand
sitting at the counter at an old-fashioned diner
using your favorite dishes
reading your child a bedtime story
Girl Scout Cookies
flossing
kissing someone you love
the smell of onions and garlic cooking
hot chocolate
jumping in puddles

old photographs
birds hopping on the sidewalk
Ella Fitzgerald
a spoonful of peanut butter straight from the jar
your softest t-shirt
a new magazine in the mail
fireplaces
having exact change
bacon and pancakes cooking on Saturday morning

Confetti Pie

Alright - it tastes like an uber-sweet bowl of Trix. But it's freaking awesome if you like Trix.

1 Pie crust +...

Filling:

2 C milk

1 banana

1 C shredded coconut

1 1/2 C sugar

1/4 C flour

Simmer (stirring like mad!) until it thickens, then add 1 tsp. corn starch.

Alternate layering Trix cereal and pudding shtuff. Chill for an hour or so.

Peanut Butter & Jell-O Pie!

Alright, I know what you're thinking. It probably starts with a "Gag" and goes on with a little "Hurp, bleurgh"ing. But, seriously - if you like PB&J sandwiches, you'll like the pie.

So, I didn't really measure anything. At all. But here's how I made it:

1 graham cracker crust (store-bought, 'cuz I'm lazy.)

4 oz. cream cheese or neufchatel

~1/2 C peanut butter

An amount of milk

1 package Jell-O (red or grape, preferably)

Cream together cream cheese and peanut butter, along with enough milk to make the mixture pour/spreadable, but not runny. Make sure to beat out the lumps. Spread said peanut butter/cream cheese stuff onto crust.

Prepare Jell-O according to directions, but pour carefully over peanut butter stuff to reach top of pie crust. (Careful not to destroy peanut butter layer. You may need to do some touch-up with a spoon.) Somehow, magically transfer the thing to the fridge with mad, mad ninja skills. Don't spill, whatever you do. Seriously. Who spills Jell-O all over the kitchen? Certainly not me. Refrigerate until the Jell-O sets.

November's Pie: Pineapple Right-Side Up

Not really sure how this went down, but I think it went something like this:

Filling:
2 or 3 egg whites
2 cans pears
Ginger
Cinnamon
Nutmeg
Almond extract

Pie crust

1 can pineapple slices (those little ring kind.)
Butter
Brown sugar

Mix the filling shtuff together, crushing the pears into bite-sized chunks in the process. (Don't liquidate the pears. They're what keep the pineapple from falling to the bottom of the pie.) Pour enough into the pie crust to fill it about halfway - leave room for the pineapple. After you've got that covered, dot it with butter.

Now open your pineapple can. Make a cute little flower on top of the pear filling, or whatever looks good. Just don't stack your pineapple too high, or it'll leak all over. If you want to be really fancy, you can put a cherry or cranberry in the center of each ring. Definitely not necessary. Sprinkle the whole thing with brown sugar and bake at 350 degrees for about 40 minutes. (But check on it - I don't really remember how long it took.) You can test it out with a toothpick; it should be nearly the consistency of cake, and the toothpick should come out clean.

Siegecraft!

So, before I begin this epic tale, I must set forth a smallish amount of background:

First, you must know that I work at FedEx Ground. My job is essentially to stand on a tower, watch boxes go by, and sort them by zip code. This is called "sorting." Occasionally, it's called "splitting," but seldom is it called both at the same time. "Splorting"? Seriously, people. No.

Second, you must know that there are only three people who "splort." These folks are Jeff, Brett, and myself. Also, our manager, Rob - but he doesn't count. He has managing to do.

Third, you must meet Jill. Jill is a computerized scanning device that reads the barcode, sorts the box, and says (in an irritating female voice) the chute number we're supposed to send the box to. Jill is new. Brand spankin' new. We were given Jill in an effort to make out work more productive.

Fourth, we hate Jill. We know our load charts. We do not need Jill. Aside from being unnecessary, Jill actually slows us down, since we have to stop and scan boxes before sorting - and then wait for the irritating female voice to inform us that we've just sent the box down the wrong (identical) chute. By this time, whoever is sorting has already sorted five more boxes. In fact, the only reason we use Jill at all is to prove to the company that we use the equipment we've been given. Well done, Jill. We applaud your effort. Now kindly go and die.

Last Friday, Jeff and I were loading in chute 10 (the one that gets all the crap the splitter couldn't get off in time.) Our boss, Rob, came down to ask us if either of us wanted to split, since Brett didn't want to. We both gladly agreed, on condition that Jill first be sent to whatever mechanical hell from which she emerged. When we discovered that Jill was required, we both courteously declined. Having no willing sorters, Rob decided to test Jill's mettle by giving her to Tyler - who does not split. Surely Jill's lilting voice would be enough to get us through the night.

Although we realized that chute 10 was going to be ridiculous that night, Jeff and I decided it was worth the extra box-tossing just to be rid of Jill. As a bonus, Tyler would be doing our job, which was just too funny to pass up.

Monday was much the same; Brett and I were in 10, taking bets on who would crack first, Tyler from splitting or us from taking up his slack. The bet was about a week, and we eventually decided that Rob would crack before any of the four game-players did. The siege began.

And then it ended, quite unexpectedly, today at work. Rob cracked, apparently, much sooner than we thought possible - although I'm sure it helped that Tyler called in sick today. Whether Tyler was actually sick is yet to be determined; I wonder if that counts as him cracking first? Now the unloaders have to use Jill, just to prove she's being used. I am back to the scanner-less, old-fashioned load charts in my head. And chute 10 is back to its normal volume. The war is won. Sweet freaking day.

Swine Flu Makes Pigs of Us All...

I have discovered the worst possible way to start a Tuesday (with the possible exception of genocide.)

I woke up for my alarm, let it snooze, and suddenly discovered that it was 11:20. I don't have class until 1:30, thankfully, but I was supposed to meet my waltz partner to practice at 11. Oops. I put in my contacts, threw on some pants (essential!) and pulled my hair back on the way out the door. I ran to campus through the lightly drifting snow, sans jacket. Those who know me well may now be thinking to themselves, "Dag, no jacket? This demonstrates desperation!" And believe me, it does.

Reaching the Wilk in a very numb state, I searched high and low for my dance partner. He was nowhere to be found. Nor was his contact information on Blackboard, the BYU directory, or facebook. After about twenty minutes, I abandoned my elusive dance partner and discovered that I felt quite awful, physically. This could be due to a lack of breakfast. It could also be due to the fact that I ran to campus - I feel like Jack Sparrow when I run, so I don't generally force my body into that lack of dignity. Or, I suppose, I could be remarkably cliche, and actually have swine flu. Bah! My body, unfortunately, did not care to ruminate on the matter. I stopped by a public restroom to vomit. Not a choice experience. I do not recommend it.

So now what, Self? I am sitting at home, refusing to go to class, watching the snow, trying not to eat the mountainous pile of cookies on the table, not really wanting to eat anything else. Conclusion: snow makes me ill. But it also seems to bring cookies. Hmm.

October's Pie: Macaroni & Cheese!

Alright, y'all. I really don't measure things. Ever. So... here's what I think went into this:

Crust:
2 C bread crumbs
1/2 C butter

Blend with knives or pastry blender; add water a little at a time until it sticks loosely. Line pie pan; bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes to prepare shell.

Filling:
1/2 onion, minced
1/4 C butter
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 C flour
2-3 C milk
2-3 C shredded cheddar cheese
Bacon bits
1 (16 oz.) packages shell noodles

Boil noodles. Make them done.

Meanwhile, brown onion and garlic in butter, add flour to make a roux (more flour if needed.) After roux has thickened, add milk and cheese; heat until cheese is melted.

Mix noodles into sauce, then pour into pie shell. (I had way too much sauce for my pasta, so I used a slotted spoon to scoop the noodles in, then saved the sauce for future connivery.) Top with bacon bits, then bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. If you want, foil the edges so the crust doesn't burn. When you've got about 10 minutes left, sprinkle some leftover bread crumbs over the pie. Or don't. I don't really give a care.

Remove foil before eating. Seriously.